Well, I certainly never would have thought that my senior year at American would end like this. (And for someone who always has the worst-case scenario in the back of her mind that’s really saying something). While this may not be the ideal way to close out my fourth year of higher education, it has given me plenty of time to reflect on my time as a college woman in Washington, D.C. and all that it took for me to get where I am today.

In 2016 I moved exactly 2,808.4 miles from Beaverton, Oregon and into the welcoming walls of Anderson Hall, 613 South. Through a series of fortunate, and unfortunate events, I made friendships that I now know can withstand any hardship—even a pandemic hasn’t been able to break us apart—but I still felt I was missing some essential part of the college experience.

After trying many club fairs, job fairs, and internships, I still couldn’t find that thing that gave me a larger purpose at AU. One night in my dorm room I was in near tears on the phone with my sister back home, considering leaving AU and the friends I had made, certain that I wasn’t cut out for D.C., not as capable or driven as anyone else at my school when she mentioned greek life. Hearing these words from my sister, former Executive Board member and ‘Srat Star’ in her own right (at least in my eyes), actually made me laugh. I had never thought that greek life was for me. But, taking it as a last resort I did it, full send.

Accepting my bid to join Alpha Xi Delta was a completely new experience for me. I didn’t know the rules or what was expected of me and at some points, I wished that no one would see me at all. But after my initiation, I decided that if I was going to do this, I had to go in 100% and after the first election cycle I was appointed to my first two positions; Diversity and Inclusion Director and Marshal. I still remember the first time I ever spoke in front of the chapter as a whole, leading an activity along with American’s Center for Diversity and Inclusion. I was shaking the entire time, even after I sat down after the lesson. 

I was the same way a year later when I led my first chapter as President after returning from my semester abroad, uncertain if many members of the chapter remembered me, let alone trusted me to make decisions on their behalf. Contrary to my fears and insecurities, I was met with the utmost support from my sisters. Sisters who challenged me, forced me to defend my choices and even change them once I had accepted that they may not be the best idea (this part was especially difficult).

Thanks to them, now I know that I have a presence. I can command a room. I can stand up for myself, and others. I can square my shoulders and take whatever life throws at me, knowing that I will be better for it.

I can be everything my younger self dreamed I would be.

XOXI,

Fiona Steiwer